I've been thinking maybe it is time I try medication again, only I'm not sure. I've tried before and I never get past the first couple of days because they tend to make me more anxious and I know that can go on for up to 3-4 weeks. My problem is, that when I get more anxious it means I can't move out my room. Now there is no point in my life that I have 4 weeks to feel that anxious. Besides that I don't want to spend 4 weeks feeling that anxious.
Also I have a little problem with giving the responsibility of me getting better to medication, rather than taking that on myself. yet I'm not getting very far myself. I mean every year I set myself goals for each year. Last year I said that for my 25th I'd hold myself a party. Yet that didn't even come close to happening.
I have my graduation (hopefully) next year and I have no idea, if I am still the way I am, how the hell I am going to do that. If I go on medication now, it could mean I can't do other things I've got planned and I can't wait till after those things I have planned because then I have uni.
This decision is going to be a hard one.....................
Have you read the book "A Spot of Bother" by Mark Haddon? Something you wrote there made me think about it and I think that while it may not particularly help in any constructive way, it presents a slightly different and very sympathetic, approach to a similar problem. Mark Haddon wrote "The Curious Case of the Dog in the Night-Time".
ReplyDeleteAnd if it's of any use, the Samm I occasionally see and the one I'm constantly told about in such positive tones bear no relation to the one you appear to be when you write about yourself.