So I went to the doctors today to discuss a few issues I am having. As I don't get to see my Psychiatrist again until February. I found out that I actually have received a diagnosis of OCD (obsessive-Compulsive Disorder), Anxiety and Depression. Which I knew that he said I had obsessional thinking but I did not know I had actually received a diagnosis of OCD.
Anyway I have also found out that they are referring me back to IAPT, which basically means another few rounds of CBT. No matter how many times they give me CBT it will not make a difference to my life. There will be no change. I will still have these issues and if I deal with some of the symptoms then guess what? New symptoms pop up any how. Not that anyone has ever listened when I have said that.
Basically in this area, unless you are bad enough to be in a hospital or have been in hospital for mental health issues, the treatment you can receive is CBT or medication and screwe you if it doesn't work, because that is all you will ever have access to.
For a while there I started to think things were working out. I was going to get treatment. I was going to work at-with support-getting better. Turns out no matter what happens that is not going to happen. So I have decided I give up.
I have been ill for 9 years now, at least 6 of those years I have been fighting for treatment, to no avail. So you know what? I am done! I am too tired to keep fighting this. I accept that this is my life. I can't fight that any more, It won't make a difference. I am done! I give up!
