maybe, just maybe

So I may finally be getting somewhere. After 7 years of fighting with doctors and arguing that CBT does not work for me, I think I am finally being taken seriously! I received a call at 9:06 this morning. I 'd had 0 hours sleep all night so weren't really in the mood for a phone call, but I didn't recognise the number, so it had me a little intrigued. So I answered.

It was the people from the healthy minds network. I know that their first port of call is CBT, so I weren't holding out much hope for anything further than that and I knew full well if that was what they offered me I was going to decline and try once more t go back to the doctors. Yet this time, she said "I see you have had four lots of CBT, did you find that in any way helpful". Of course I answered no, as it just isn't helpful t me. I explained that my last therapist actually said to me, that I was doing all that was required, but it just isn't working for me. This is the point where I expected her to say "well sorry, there is not really much we can do for you the" and I'd be back at square one, as always. Only she didn't.

She informed me that I could go for an assessment and then be referred on to either the psychology or psychiatry department. She said there are four levels. The first is self help, then medication then CBT and then what they are now referring me to. She explained because this has been a long standing problem, and that very little seems to have helped, she does not see a problem with being referred on for the fourth level.

Apparently, if CBT doesn't work, places like this should refer on to the fourth level, especially if it is a long standing problem. I do not really understand why I have been discharged from CBT four times, without any recommendation for further treatment. I mean surely after the fourth time, it was pretty obvious that this just is not going to work for me.

Anyhow, I have my appointment for assessment, on whether I am in need of longer term treatment, in three weeks time. I am kind of glad I hadn't slept all night, otherwise, I doubt I would have been so open on the phone. I am just hoping that this is it. This is the time, when someone listen to me and takes my issues seriously. I really and truly hope, that for once, I will feel like I am being taken seriously and not just being palmed off and told that CBT is the only way. As if this time I get nowhere, I am not sure I have enough fight in me to once again, fight for the treatment I believe I deserve.