Well this one is easy. It was definitely my access tutor Carolyn. I was not the best student when I first got there (or at any point really). I remember I went to college to make friends and yet because this tutor never gave up on me and actually believed in me, I began to believe in myself. A teacher had faith in me and made me believe I could do it too. Trust me that was a massive thing for me. I was such a little shit. Never really gave a crap about anything.
I remember me and Dave, were both kind of outcasts from the rest of the class. I was seen as someone that had no real responsibility and therefore should find this all easy. Don't get me wrong, I found the work easier than I thought I would. I didn't really struggle with that aspect of being at college. I just struggled with the concept of actually being at college and of education as a whole. I had never really been the brightest crayon in the box and I strongly believed that was because I was just stupid.
I struggled to attend college because of my anxiety, I found it really hard to be in a setting that made me feel as I used to growing up. Being in a setting like that, meant I did exactly what I used to. Basically messed about and did 0 work. I am sure nearly all the tutors on that course had enough of me by the time level 2 finished. I remember it being 3 weeks till the end of the year and I still had half the work to finish! Including a core skills folder, that we were supposed to be keeping throughout the year that I hadn't even begun to think about starting, let alone having the thing completed.
It weren't till this last three weeks that I realised I wanted to go on to the level three. So I started to actually do my work. Which to be fair there was no way I could complete that much work in that little time. I spent every single day there from about 9-5 sometimes later, depending on what I was doing. Then I'd come home and do some more work. It weren't enough though, I didn't get my maths completed. Which should have meant that I couldn't go onto level 3 as I hadn't completed everything. Yet my tutor said that I could go on-which I knew was taking a chance on me. When you think about it, I hadn't exactly shown my commitment to doing well!
While on the level three, I cannot remember the amount of times I was in the office quitting the course or asking for help. I remember one time, when I was trying to sort out my core skills folder (I kept up with it this time). I ended up going to her office and saying I was going to throw it out of the window as I couldn't get it into order. She didn't hesitate in helping me out. In fact she never hesitated in helping me out. If I had a problem she would do her best to help me sort it. I can honestly say I wouldn't be in my final year of university if it was not for that teacher. I often say the access course changed my life, yet in all honesty I think it was that teacher that changed my life.
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